I woke up today feeling like I was in a new reality, more than a jump to a higher timeline, although that may be what it was, and it started on Sept 8th. The metaphorical light switch flipped, and I haven't had that feeling, to that degree since I made the single decision to compete in Figure in 2005.
To backtrack a bit, and for those of you here who didn't find me through the fitness realm, that was something I did as successfully as I could without compromising myself. The specific skill set involved in what I navigated in my career was just that, a skill set. Competitions were something I felt I had to do, it was life or death. This wasn’t about my ego, the impulse was extreme and persistent. When something is so externally focused it can be an ego or personality identification and I felt leaving it behind was a part of an initiatory process. It was my choice and felt imminent particularly as my conscious awareness began to expand, I walked away.
Indefinitely.
Last year I went to a new organization, and the reason for that was layered. I am sure this will all come full circle in my life using the data collected.
Letting go, some refer to this as a release of an attachment. I had to be willing to walk away from the things that gave me comfort. I got to experience the disapproving looks I received of judgment for choosing this process. It surely didn't make sense to others. Comparatively speaking, getting lean for a show is a cakewalk to waking up. I mean, you discover everything you've ever known to be the truth actually isn't. Experiencing that feeling coupled with losing all things in the material plane, the fit body, and how disappointed people were who viewed me. I am thinking, just wait. Just wait. It was extraordinarily painful and isolating. Some may refer to it as an ego death, and it sure was, plus it feels a bit like a psychotic break. I have heard it referenced by others as such. I can assure you it isn't though. Initally the mind feels warped but then it moves back into place so to speak. It's a literal mind expansion.
This process has taken me the past 9 solid years, and at times, I wasn’t sure I could make it and I wasn’t sure I wanted to make it. That's the awakening process yet I was determined to face myself because it becomes really apparent that's required. I am not coming back for the same lessons with the same people. There is No way.
I could go on and on and love to write, but I will save it for future posts. I am simply glad I feel like expressing myself instead of being mute.
I sure have a story or two.
I feel like the Rocky Balboa of Consciousness 😅 because I had to find my way (removing unconscious programs, outdated belief systems, facing fears, working through traumas and triggers, learning to speak up, forgiving others, reading through omitted religious texts, learning about energy work, taking responsibility for my own energy, practicing presence, meditation, eating foods more in alignment, raising my vibrational frequency, transcending polarity, balancing masculine and feminine aspects, clearing generational trauma patterns, choosing higher timelines by remaining neutral, slaying demons until I finally didn't need to experience them, I could go on and there are many layers to the process) with very little. I compare to trying to build a fire by rubbing two sticks together in the backyard kind of scenario.
The next steps.
I am looking at how to step into more work online. During the past 9 years, a lot has changed, particularly in terms of social media.
TikTok alone illustrates the massive shift in the collective consciousness along with the wisdom and guidance people have to offer. There's so many people here doing this in their respective fields.
Finally, the planet awakens.
How will this unfold?
What will people need to experience to awaken? If it is anything like what happened to me, then I know people will be looking for others to connect with. Because there's usually a big fork in the road and a choice to be made. Based on that choice and those subsequent choices, an awakening may start to occur.
I am, we are, here.
From my Heart to Yours.
